1 The writer earned his name by five times running (or, actually, sitting) returning to his place of birth after repeatedly getting run out of town on a rail for his obscure sense of humor.
Hail, oh Muse, and give me the words to tell of a wizard of great skill and strength, of one who had fathomed the great and many deep mysteries of the dread child-proof bottle cap of one who could, weary though he may be afterwards, out wrestle two falls out of three, a large mouse.
Brave Sir Robin his name was, A faithful servant of the great God of Ad, Madison Avenue. Tall and mighty, with great dark eyes, much carefully groomed hair and clad in the finest robes in the land as befitted one, his wizardry was such that in a bright light he could appear as a three foot, six inch dwarf, wearing a fright wig, tinted contact lenses, and and ill-fitting suit of third hand cords which had been rejected by the goddess of Goodwill, Amy of Salvation. Even greater was his mastery of the shadows, for with his magic suit he could disappear without a trace after making the proper sacrifices, saying the holy incantations, and standing next to anything that was bright orange with green polka dots.
Great and wide also his fame was at solving the ancient mysteries, the famed questions of the past. For he was the great solver of those great riddles which had puzzled the great and wise for untold millennia for he himself had answered: "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" and "For the last time Scotty, what did you do with the tribbles?"
One day as he sat in his great dark hall, word was brought of a gift from the barbarians of the hell-spawned Eastern lands of the two box-like towers.
From his towering throne, Brave Sir Robin turned and demanded of a page, saying "What is it?" The page cried into the depths of the great dark hall "What is it?" Through a vast portal a far distance down the great dark hall a servant passed and from the towering throne five feet away his echoing voice could be heard crying forth, "What Is it?" A stout, immovable, guardsman, far distant, heard the call, and cried out to the servant by the gift, an immeasurably great distance away, saying, "What is it?"